You can’t understand how irrational people can be until you examine their religious beliefs.
Consider many of those beliefs embraced by Christians—from their first-century origins to the present day.
Among those beliefs:
- God creates Adam from dust. This is biologically impossible. Would-be parents don’t throw dust into the air and see it instantly turn into newborn babies.
- God creates Eve from Adam’s rib. This is also biologically impossible. In 1885, German biologist Hans Driesch showed that blastomeres of two-cell sea urchin embryos could be physically separated and two entire embryos formed from each blastomere. But you don’t get a female cell from a male one. If this had happened, God would have created the first transgender woman.
- Humankind originated with Adam and Eve. A naked man and woman live in a forest, eat only fruit, and believe they are in Paradise. Then a talking snake deceives the woman into eating from “the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.” They suddenly realize they are naked—and are then banished by God from Eden. Taken to its logical conclusion, this story warns: You will be punished if you become educated.
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God creates Adam–as painted by Michelangelo
- Noah saves the world’s wildlife by stuffing them into an ark. Sure—untrained wild animals are going to meekly walk, two-by-two, into a huge building. Then they’re going to let themselves be caged. And Noah and his family must store a huge variety of food for each type of animal for an indefinite period of time. Transporting large numbers of animals poses a Herculean challenge for circuses even today. And the sheer stench of all that animal urine and feces in a closed Ark would have been horrific.
- Moses parts the Red Sea. Some scholars believe “Red” has been mistranslated from “Reed,” which is like upgrading “the White Quail” to “the White Whale” in Moby Dick.
Moses (played by Charlton Heston) parts the Red Sea
- Lot’s wife becomes a pillar of salt. A human being can be turned into ashes, but not salt.
- Samson kills 1,000 Philistines with the jawbone of an ass. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger at the height of his physical strength couldn’t kill so many men—except with a machinegun.
- Daniel is thrown into a pit of lions—but survives because an angel closes their jaws. This sounds inspiring—until you remember that didn’t happen when Christians were thrown to the lions by the Romans.
- The will of God violates physical laws. Jesus turns water into wine and raises Lazarus from the dead; Jonah lives inside a fish for three days; Noah dies at 950 years.
- Jesus redeems mankind from sin. Adam and Eve brought “sin” into the world—not by murder, rape or incest, but by gaining knowledge in the Garden of Eden. To redeem billions of future men, women and children from a “crime” they didn’t commit, God impregnates a teenager without her consent to sire a son so he can be tortured and murdered.
- Jesus rises from the dead. There have been near-death experiences, but there has never been a documented case of someone being certified as dead who came alive again—especially more than 2,000 years later.
- Jesus will return more than 2,000 years after he died to wipe all evil from the earth and usher in a paradise for his faithful followers. This is the ultimate “Get-Out-of-Death-Free” card. Everyone fears death. Science says it’s final—but Christianity promises you can live forever if you just follow the teachings of Jesus—as interpreted by any number of would-be clergy.
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“The Transfiguration of Jesus” as painted by Carl Bloch
- “One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever” (Ecclesiastes 1:4). Wrong. According to astronomers, in about 7.5 billion years, the Sun will become a red giant, expand beyond the Earth’s current orbit, and vaporize the planet. Which raises the question: If God is all-wise, why did he create a self-destructing universe?
So why do millions of people unquestioningly accept so many stories that totally contradict the most basic truths of common sense?
- Countless parents have told them to their children.
- So have countless pastors and priests.
- From the 1940s to the 1960s, audiences reveled in such spectaculars as “Samson and Delilah,” “The Ten Commandments” and “King of Kings.” When people watch Biblical movies, they believe they’re seeing The Truth as it’s laid out in the Bible.
- Gospel music has produced mega-hits like: “Shall We Gather at the River?” “Take Me to the King,” “Down By the Riverside.”
- Fear of death—and the hope to live forever—as Jesus allegedly cheated death through his resurrection.
- To bring a sense of purpose to their lives by “enlisting” in a Heavenly (if imaginary) community.
It is not necessary to actually be religious to run for and win public office in the United States. But it is essential to claim to be.
Donald Trump—a lifelong criminal totally lacking in humility and spirituality—became the darling of evangelicals in 2016 by claiming to love Jesus.
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THE IDEAL REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE
In Bureaucracy, Entertainment, History, Humor, Military, Politics, Social commentary on December 2, 2024 at 12:19 amMany Republican strategists feared that, with the defeat of Donald Trump by Joe Biden in 2020, Democrats would have a lock on the White House in 2024.
And the base of the Republican Party continued to demand candidates who are increasingly Fascistic.
The top officials of the Republican Party decided that science held the answer: They would use cloning to create the perfect, unbeatable Presidential candidate.
They directed scientists from the National Institute of Health to resurrect—via DNA samples—several past, hugely popular Republican leaders.
The first of these was Abraham Lincoln: Destroyer of slavery and defender of the Union.
The scientists then introduced him to a sample of Republican voters to gauge his current popularity.
Abraham Lincoln
The test audience erupted—but not in the way party officials expected.
“Race-mixer!”
“He’s the reason we have all these damn civil rights laws.”
“He invaded the South—and destroyed states’ rights!”
To head off a riot, the scientists rushed the startled Lincoln-clone off the stage.
Then they introduced their next resurrected candidate: Theodore Roosevelt, the trust-busting conservationist.
Theodore Roosevelt
Again, the test-audience erupted:
“Tree-hugger! Tree-hugger!”
“He’s the guy who broke up the big corporations—lousy Socialist!”
Startled Republican officials hustled the Roosevelt-clone out of the building.
Finally, they brought out their third choice for victory: A cloned Ronald Reagan.
Ronald Reagan
For the test audience, this was simply too much:
“Not him! He legalized abortion in California when he was Governor!”
“He let all those damn Mexicans come into California! We need someone who kicks them out!”
Desperate, Republican leaders went into a huddle.
“What are we going to do?” asked one. “Lincoln, Roosevelt and Reagan were our most popular Presidents.”
“Yeah, but that was in the past, before Donald Trump showed us the way,” said another. “We need a candidate who speaks to our base today.”
“Hey, I’ve got an idea. But there’s just one catch. The guy I have in mind wasn’t actually born in the United States.”
“So what?”
“That would violate the Constitution.”
“Screw the Constitution. You know what Donald Trump always said: Why spoil the beauty of the thing with legality?”
So the Republicans again ordered the scientists to return to work one last time.
When the last resurrected candidate was presented to the test-audience, the crowd rose as one, shouting: “That’s him! That’s him!”
“The one we’ve been waiting for!”
“The one who really speaks for us!”
“He’s totally anti-abortion—and he hates uppity women!”
“He makes even Trump look like a pussy!”
“Yeah—he hates Socialists, gays and nonwhites, and he really believes in a strong military!”
Then the audience suddenly hushed as their cloned savior raised his hand for silence.
“All right, all right, I vill do it,” said the clone-candidate. “But the last time I led people to greatness, they proved unworthy of me.
“So I vill do it again—but only on von condition!”
“Yes, yes!” screamed the test-audience. “Anything you want! What is it?”
“Ziss time….”
Adolf Trump
….no more Mister Nice Guy!”
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