Comedian Lily Tomlin rose to fame on Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In as Ernestine, the rude, sarcastic switchboard operator for Ma Bell.
She would tap into customers’ calls, interrupt them, make snide remarks about their personal lives. And her victims included celebrities as much as run-of-the-mill customers.
On one occasion, she called then-FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover, letting him know that “it really takes a Hoover [vacuum cleaner] to dig up the dirt.”
She introduced herself as working for “the phone company, serving everyone from presidents and kings to the scum of the earth.”
But perhaps the line for which her character is best remembered was: “We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.”
Watching Ernestine on Laugh-In was a blast for millions of TV viewers during the mid-1960s and early 70s. But confronting such corporate arrogance in real-life is no laughing matter.
Clearly, too many companies take the same attitude as Ernestine: “We don’t care. We don’t have to.”
This is especially true for companies that are supposed to safeguard their customers’ most sensitive information–such as their credit card numbers, addresses, emails and phone numbers.
An October 22 “commentary” published in Forbes magazine raises the highly disturbing question: “Cybersecurity: Does Corporate America Really Care?”
And the answer is apparently: No.
Its author is John Hering, co-founder and executive director of Lookout, which bills itself as “the world leader in mobile security for consumers and enterprises alike.”
Click here: Cybersecurity: Does corporate America really care?
October proved a bad month for credit card-using customers of Kmart, Staples and Dairy Queen–all of which have reported data breaches involving the theft of credit card numbers.
Earlier breaches had hit Target, Home Depot and JPMorgan/Chase.
“One thing is clear,” writes Hering. “CEOs need to put security on their strategic agendas alongside revenue growth and other issues given priority in boardrooms.”
Hering warns that “CEOs don’t seem to be making security a priority.” And he offers several reasons for this:
- The sheer number of data compromises;
- Relatively little consumer outcry;
- Almost no impact on the companies’ standing on Wall Street;
- Executives may consider such breaches part of the cost of doing business.
“There’s a short-term mindset and denial of convenience in board rooms,” writes Hering.
“Top executives don’t realize their systems are vulnerable and don’t understand the risks. Sales figures and new products are top of mind; shoring up IT systems aren’t.”
Anyone who’s ever watched the operation of an airport luggage carousel has seen this principle in action.
If you’ve checked your luggage, then you need to head for the baggage carousel as quickly as you can get out of the airplane.
Because if you don’t get there in time to grab your own bag, there’s a good chance that someone else will.
The reason? There’s no security officer there to make sure that your luggage goes only to you, and not to someone else.
Experienced baggage thieves know this. So they wait at the luggage carousel for a piece of luggage to go around two or three times. If no one collects it, they assume the owner isn’t there yet–and make off with it.
Sure, there might not be anything of value in it–from the thief’s viewpoint, anyway.
No diamonds.
No jewels.
No expensive cameras.
For the thief, it’s a setback–but only a minor one. He simply dumps the luggage and perhaps goes back to the carousel for another shot at finding a bag stuffed with valuables.
But for the traveler-victim, it’s a disaster.
Most–if not all–of his clothes are gone.
Anything personal–such as gifts he was bringing for friends or relatives–is gone.
So are any vitally-needed medications–if he was foolish enough to store these in his suitcase instead of a carry-on bag.
And does the airline care?
Don’t be stupid.
Why should they? They got your money when you bought the plane ticket.
That’s all they wanted from you. And the truth is, that’s all they’ve ever wanted from you–even during the “golden age of air travel” before airplanes became “flying buses.”
The skies of United were never so friendly that airlines felt an obligation to ensure that their passengers’ luggage was actually waiting for its rightful owners.
And the same principle–or lack of principle–applies with such companies as banks, department stores and insurance companies that hold the most private information of their customers.
There are two ways corporations can be forced to start behaving responsibly on this issue.
First, some smart attorneys need to start filing class-action lawsuits against companies that don’t take steps to safeguard their customers’ private information.
Second, there must be Federal legislation to ensure that multi-million-dollar fines are levied against such companies–and especially their CEOs–when such data breaches occur.
Only then will the CEO mindset of “We don’t care, we don’t have to” be replaced with: “We care, because our heads will roll if we don’t.”


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LET THE SUNSHINE IN
In Bureaucracy, History, Politics, Social commentary on October 24, 2014 at 12:06 amPresident Barack Obama and Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney raised and spent millions of dollars for campaign ads. They logged thousands of miles, crisscrossing the nation, speaking to millions of Americans.
And yet, when the 2012 Presidential race finally ended on November 6, 2012, history recorded the contest was settled with a single video.
It was the infamous “47%” video of Romney speaking–for once, truthfully–at a private fundraiser:
“Well, there are 47% of the people who will vote for the President no matter what. All right? There are 47% who are with him.
“Who are dependent upon government. Who believe that–that they are victims. Who believe that government has a responsibility to care for them.
“Who believe that they’re entitled to healthcare, to food, to housing, to you name it. But that’s–it’s an entitlement.
“…These are people who pay no income tax. 47% of Americans pay no income taxes. So our message of low taxes doesn’t connect. And he’ll be out there talking about tax cuts for the rich.”
A great deal of speculation has centered on: Who filmed it?
And in April, 2013, history repeated itself–with another Republican caught telling the ugly truth behind closed doors.
In this case, it was Kentucky United States Senator Mitch McConnell. A microphone (probably stationed outside his Senate office) caught him discussing how to attack Ashley Judd’s mental health if the actress decided to challenge him in 2014.
“She’s clearly, this sounds extreme, but she is emotionally unbalanced,” a McConnell aide said. “I mean, it’s been documented….She’s suffered some suicidal tendencies. She was hospitalized for 42 days when she had a mental breakdown in the 90s.”
“I assume most of you have played the game Whac-A-Mole,” said McConnell. “This is the Whac-A-Mole period of the campaign…when anybody sticks their head up, do them out.”
McConnell, the Senate Minority Leader, refused to answer reporters’ questions about whether an opponent’s mental health or religious beliefs are fair game in a political campaign.
Instead, he accused “the political left” of mounting “quite a Nixonian move.” An ironic charge, considering that Nixon and McConnell rose to power within the same political party.
As in the case of the Mitt Romney videotape, the focus of the press quickly turned to: Who recorded it?
But this totally missed the point.
It doesn’t matter who provides vital information. What does matter is: Is that information accurate?
In Romney’s case, it opened a window into a world seldom-seen by voters: The world of big-league donors and their money-grubbing political solicitors.
In McConnell’s case, it cast light on the how entrenched politicians ruthlessly defend their turf.
It should be clear that money-grubbing politicians have two versions of campaign speaking: One for donors whose money they seek, and another for the public whose votes they seek.
Rich and greed-obsessed donors (unlike poor and ignorant voters) are too smart to be fobbed off with appeals to their fears and prejudices. They expect a tangible return for their support–namely:
So what a candidate says in private, to his wealthy donors–or his campaign strategists–reflects what he really means and intends to do.
A similar frenzy of speculation centered on the identity of “Deep Throat”–the legendary source for Washington Post reporter Bob Woodward during the Watergate scandal. For decades, this proved a favorite guessing game for Washington reporters, politicians and government officials.
Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein working on Watergate
In the end, “Deep Throat” turned out to be W. Mark Felt, assistant director of the FBI.
Commentators have endlessly debated his motives for leaking crucial Watergate evidence that ultimately ended the corrupt Presidency of Richard Nixon.
And, in the end, despite all the theories, it didn’t matter.
Felt provided Washington Woodward with the evidence necessary to keep the Watergate investigations going–by both the Post and the FBI.
W. Mark Felt
Thus, the question making the rounds about the McConnell discussion shouldn’t have been: Who taped it?
It should have been: How can more private fundraisers and political strategy sessions be penetrated and recorded–so voters can learn the truth about those who would become our elected rulers?
Definitely, those who specialize in “opposition research” should be thinking hard about this.
Private investigators–who regularly unearth secrets others want to keep secret–might also take an interest in this line of work.
And news organizations should offer financial rewards to those who provide such secret information.
With the advent of billionaires trying to buy the Presidency, and the unwillingness of Congress and the Supreme Court to stop the flow of unsavory money into politics, this may be our only chance to preserve what is left of the Republic.
Anyone who’s ever turned on a light to find roaches scurrying quickly over a kitchen floor knows the truth of this.
Turn on the lights–and watch the roaches scurry away.
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