Lily Tomlin introduced her character of Ernestine, the rude, gossipy, know-it-all telephone operator, in the 1960s series Laugh-In.
A typical skit would open:
“A gracious hello. Here at the Phone Company, we handle eighty-four billion calls a year. Serving everyone from presidents and kings to the scum of the earth.
“So, we realize that, every so often, you can’t get an operator, or for no apparent reason your phone goes out of order, or perhaps you get charged for a call you didn’t make. We don’t care!
“You see, this phone system consists of a multibillion-dollar matrix of space age technology that is so sophisticated even we can’t handle it. But that’s your problem, isn’t it?
“So, the next time you complain about your phone service, why don’t you try using two Dixie cups with a string?
“We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the Phone Company.”
All of which was–and remains–hilarious. Except when you face such behavior in real-life with the phone company.
That’s exactly what happened to a man I’ll call Dave.
Dave had had DSL Internet service with AT&T for a year, and had been entirely satisfied with it. So when AT&T offered him Uverse service for less than what he had been paying, he signed up.
But the new service never worked properly.
Dave had been promised that he would get 25 MBPs a second–double his previous download speed.
Instead he got only 6 MBPs a second. He was also being repeatedly disconnected from the Internet.
Dave called AT&T to complain. The company sent a technician to inspect the connection.
The tech told him that the line he was using for DSL was not working with Uverse. He was told he needed to install a new line to solve the problem.
Seeking a second opinion, Dave asked AT&T to send out another technician.
This one said there was already an existing CAT 5 line in Dave’s apartment. He said that by connecting this line to the computer, the problem should be solved.
But after he connected the line, Dave could not watch videos on YouTube because a dot appeared in the middle of the screen.
Since Dave had a Mac, he sought advice at his nearby Apple store. Was there was anything wrong with the computer? he asked.
The Apple rep said the problem was that he wasn’t getting enough download speed.
Dave called AT&T again.
A tech said the problem lay with the modem: Send it back and we’ll send you another.
Dave sent back the modem and AT&T sent him a second.
Dave installed the modem but still found a big dot in the middle of the screen while watching YouTube videos.
A technician tried to resolve the problem from AT&T’s own facilities, but was not able to.
Dave called AT&T and said he was going to disconnect the service because it still wasn’t working.
Suddenly, the blunt truth finally emerged:
An AT&T rep told him that his geographical area was not yet supplied with fiber-optic cables that could provide high-speed Internet service. In six months, the company would probably have such lines set up in his location.
Dave said that in six months, if AT&T had fiber-optic cables installed in his area, he would call back and have service restored.
The rep told him to send back the modem and he would owe nothing.
And that’s when the real trouble started.
Dave soon got a bill from AT&T saying he owed more than $400 for Internet service. He called them back and asked why he had gotten this bill.
The AT&T rep said the bill was to cover the costs of sending over the technicians.
Dave replied that they hadn’t installed any new lines or corrected the problem. They had only checked the line.
AT&T said they would reduce the amount Dave owed to $260. This was to cover about two months’ service and the modem—to be paid one month in advance.
Dave said that he hadn’t gotten service that worked and he would pay the money only if they could get it working properly.
AT&T told Dave to return the modem and he would owe them nothing.
Dave mailed the modem to AT&T in November, 2011.
AT&T then sent Dave a letter saying he owed them $140.
He refused to pay it.
He got another bill that said AT&T was reducing it to $126.95 for Unverse Internet service.
Dave called AT&T and complained.
This time, an AT&T rep said it had been a “computer mistake” and that this would be corrected on his next bill; there would be no such charge.
Shortly afterward, Dave got another letter on February 15, still demanding the payment of $126.95 for Uverse service.
After getting a phone call from a collections agency, Dave asked me to intervene with AT&T on his behalf.


CALIFORNIA DEPARTMENT OF INSURANCE, CALIFORNIA INSURANCE COMMISSION, CALIFORNIA STATE ASSEMBLY, CALIFORNIA STATE SENATE, COBRA INSURANCE PLANS, FACEBOOK, MEDIA, MEDICAL INSURANCE, SELF-HELP, TWITTER
STOP INSURANCE RIP-OFFS
In Business, Self-Help, Social commentary on April 15, 2013 at 12:07 amAn insurance company suspends your medical coverage for months–or longer.
Even though you’ve faithfully paid all premiums for your medical insurance–and have the records to prove it.
Think it can’t happen to you? It did to a couple I’ll call Diane and Mike.
Mike worked as a paralegal for a Los Angeles law firm. He was getting health insurance for himself and his wife, Diane, under a COBRA arrangement.
COBRA stands for Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act of 1985. It’s a Federal law that was passed by Congress and signed by President Ronald Reagan.
One of its provisions creates an insurance program giving some employees the ability to continue health insurance coverage after leaving employment.
But a COBRA can sometimes act the same way the deadly poisonous snake does–with unpredictable and lethal results for those depending on it.
In this case, after Mike left his law firm to work at another, he found the COBRA didn’t operate as it was supposed to.
A snafu developed, involving
Each of these institutions blamed the other for failing to provide appropriate information.
So the insurance company suspended Mike and Diane’s health insurance–completely ignoring their medical needs.
Then, one day, Diane called me on an unrelated matter. During the conversation, she let slip the suspension of her medical insurance.
I was stunned at the news–and outraged when she said this had been going on for six months.
At once, I offered my services as a troubleshooter. She accepted.
I decided to call the office of my State Assemblyman. In California, the 80 members of the Assembly serve two-year terms, and are limited to being elected three times.
The 40 members of the State Senate serve four-year terms, and can be elected twice.
Because they face re-election sooner, members of the Assembly must stay closely attuned to resolving their constituents’ problems. That’s why they employ staffers who are experts at navigating through the maze of State agencies.
And State Senators make certain their offices are equally well-staffed with such experts.
When I called my Assemblyman’s office, I didn’t ask to speak with him. I knew I was too politically unimportant to rate a direct chat at that level. And I didn’t need to talk with him, anyway.
I simply told the secretary that I wanted to speak with the office’s specialist on insurance.
California has an Insurance Commissioner who directs the state’s Department of Insurance. The mandate of this agency is to license, regulate and examine insurance companies.
Soon I was speaking with Frank, the Assemblyman’s expert on insurance matters. I quickly explained the problem my friends were having. And, to my surprise, I found that he and I hit it off right away.
Frank said he had a friend–Steve–who worked as an investigator for the Department of Insurance. Then he generously offered to put me through to him. I thankfully accepted.
Soon Steve and I quickly found ourselves getting along well. Then he asked me: “What’s your friend’s number?”
Diane hadn’t authorized me to give her number to anyone, but I decided to forward it. If Steve was that interested in examining their problem, I wasn’t going to throw a damper on his enthusiasm.
Soon Steve and Diane were discussing the situation.
And shortly after that, her insurance company got an unexpected call from the Insurance Commissioner’s office.
The message was simple–and blunt: Restore that coverage–now.
And, within 48 hours, it had been fully restored.
There are several important lessons to be learned here:
Share this: