SLEAZE ME
(To be sung to the tune of “Mama’s Got a Squeeze Box”)

Herman’s got a big hand
He slips up your dress.
And when he’s feeling his oats
You’ll never get any rest.
‘Cause he likes his girls white
When he’s leaning to the Right.
Herman’s got a boner,
Girl, you’ll never sleep tonight.

President Donald Trump is considering Herman Cain, the former CEO of “Godfather’s Pizza,” for a seat on the Federal Reserve Board.

Cain would fill one of two open seats on the board.

A second seat would be manned by Stephen Moore, a long-time Trump supporter.

Herman Cain

This would give Trump two political loyalists on the board of a central bank that has often crossed him. Trump has repeatedly attacked Jerome Powell, his own appointee as Federal Reserve chairman, for raising interest rates.  Trump has even discussed firing him.

In September, 2018, Cain co-founded a pro-Trump super-political action committee, America Fighting Back, whose avowed purpose is: “We must protect Donald Trump and his agenda from impeachment.”

That seems to be Cain’s primary qualification for the position.   

Or maybe it’s just that Trump likes to surround himself with men who share his “grab-em’-by-the-pussy” view of women.

It was a series of scandalous accusations against him by at least four women that led Cain to abort a short-lived campaign for President in 2011. 

He’s got a big booming voice
And a floppy pimp hat.
It doesn’t matter to him
If you’ve never done that.

‘Cause he delivers all night
When his wife is out of sight.
Herman’s got a boner, 
Girl, you’ll never sleep tonight.

One of these was Sharon Bialek, a former employee of the National Restaurant Association (NRA) where Cain served as CEO.  On November 7, 2011, she gave a press conference where she recounted the following:

In mid-July 1997, she asked Cain for help in finding a new job or getting her old one back. S he had been let go from her job with the educational foundation of the NRA.

Sharon Bialek

Cain offered to help her and she traveled to Washington to meet him.

“I met Mr. Cain in the lobby of the bar at the Capitol Hilton at around 6:30 p.m.. We had drinks at the hotel, and he asked how I liked my room…and I said I was very surprised.

“I said, ‘I can’t believe it, I’ve got this great suite, it’s gorgeous.’ Mr. Cain kind of smirked, and then said, ‘I upgraded you.’”

Cain then took her to an Italian restaurant for dinner.

“While we were driving back to the hotel, he said that he would show me where the National Restaurant Association offices were. He parked the car down the block. I thought that we were going to go into the offices so that he could show me around.

“At that time I had on a black pleated skirt, a suit jacket and a blouse. He had on a suit with his shirt open. But instead of going into the offices, he suddenly reached over and put his hand on my leg under my skirt and reached for my genitals.

“He also grabbed my head and brought it toward his crotch. I was very, very surprised and very shocked.

‘Cause he likes his girls white
And you know he’s far-Right.
Herman’s got a boner,
Girl, you’ll never sleep tonight.

“I said, ‘What are you doing? You know I have a boyfriend. This isn’t what I came here for.’

“Mr. Cain said, ‘You want a job, right?’

“I asked him to stop and he did. I asked him to take me back to my hotel which he did, right away.”

Of course, Bialek never got her job back—or help from Cain in finding another one.

But, as Herman Cain himself would assure you, that was all her fault. She didn’t meet the stringent employment requirement he laid down: Suck me or stay unemployed.

Bialek was the fourth woman to come forward to accuse Cain of making improper sexual advances toward her. And it was her testimony that sealed his fate as a Presidential candidate.

But that didn’t mean Cain lacked Right-wing supporters—such as Right-wing radio propagandist Rush Limbaugh.

On October 31, 2011, Limbaugh blamed “the Left’s racist hit job” for Cain’s faltering campaign: “The racial stereotypes that these people are using to go after Herman Cain, what is the one thing that it tells us?

“It tells us who the real racists are, yeah, but it tells us that Herman Cain is somebody.  Something’s going on out there. Herman Cain obviously is making some people nervous for this kind of thing to happen.”

And on November 7, Limbaugh offered another “defense” for Cain’s behavior: Calling Bialek a “babe” and “the blonde bombshell,” he joked about Cain’s attempt to extort sexual favors via her need for a job.

“Ha-ha-ha-ha,” laughed Limbaugh. “That’s it. Cain decided to provide her with his idea of a ‘stimulus package.’”

He goes, “Squeeze me,
Come on and tease me.
Come on and sleaze me for a job.
Just act like I’m your God.”
Herman’s got a boner,
Girl, you’ll never sleep tonight.