In 1970, Robert Townsend, the CEO who had turned around a failing rent-a-car company called Avis, published what is arguably the best book written on business management.
It’s Up the Organization: How to Stop the Corporation From Stiffling People and Strangling Profits.
Though published 46 years ago, it should be required reading–for CEOs and consumers.
Don’t fear getting bogged down in a sea of boring, theory-ridden material. As Townsend writes:
“This book is in alphabetical order. Using the table of contents, which doubles as the Index, you can locate any subject on the list in 13 seconds. And you can read all I have to say about it in five minutes or less.
“This is not a book about how organizations work. What should happen in organizations and what does happen are two different things and about as far apart as they can get. THIS BOOK IS ABOUT HOW TO GET THEM TO RUN THREE TIMES AS WELL AS THEY DO.”
Comcast is the majority owner of NBC and the largest cable operator in the United States. It provides cable TV, Internet and phone service to more than 50 million customers.
So you would think that, with so many customers to serve, Comcast would create an efficient way for them to attain help when they face a problem with billing or service.
Think again.
Consider the merits of Townsend’s short chapter on “Call Yourself Up.”
Townsend advises CEOs:“Pretend you’re a customer. Telephone some part of your organization and ask for help. You’ll run into some real horror shows.”
Now, imagine what would happen if Brian L. Roberts, the CEO of Comcast, did just that.
Brian L. Roberts
First, he would find that, at Comcast, nobody actually answers the phone when a customer calls. After all, it’s so much easier to fob off customers with pre-recorded messages than to have operators directly serve their needs.
And customers simply aren’t that important–except when they’re paying their ever-inflated bills for phone, cable TV and/or Internet service.
Comcast’s revenues stood at $19.25 billion for the fourth quarter of 2015.
In 2015, Roberts earned $36.2 million in salary, options and other compensation, a 10% increase from 2014.
So it isn’t as though the company can’t afford hiring a few operators and instructing them to answer phones directly when people phone in.
But instead of being directly connected to someone able to answer his question or resolve his problem, Roberts would hear:
“Welcome to Comcast–home of Xfinity.”
Then he would hear an annoying clucking sound–followed by the same message in Spanish.
“Your call may be recorded for quality assurance.
“To make a payment now, Press 1. To continue this call, Press 2.”
Then he would hear: “For technical help, press 1, for billing, press 2. For more options, press 3.”
Assuming he pressed 2 for “billing,” he would hear:
“For payment, press 1 For balance information, press 2. For payment locations, press 3. For all other billing questions, press 4.”
Then he would be told: “Please enter the last four digits of the primary account holder’s Social Security Number.”
Then, as if he hadn’t waited long enough to talk to someone, he would get this message: “Press 1 if you would like to take a short survey after your call.”
By the time he heard that, he would almost certainly not be in a mood to take a survey. He would simply want someone to come onto the phone and answer his question or resolve his problem.
Then he would hear: “At the present time, all agents are busy”–and be electronically given an estimate by when someone might deign to answer the phone.
“Please hold for the next customer account executive.”
If he wanted to immediately reach a Comcast rep, Roberts would press the number for “sales.” A sales rep would gladly sign him up for more costly products–even if he couldn’t solve whatever problem Roberts needed addressed.
Assuming that someone actually came on, Roberts couldn’t fail to notice the unmistakable Indian accent of the rep he was now speaking with.
Not Indian as in American Indian-because that would mean his company had actually hired Americans who must be paid at least a minimum American wage for their services.
No, Comcast, like many other supposedly patriotic corporations, “outsources” its “customer service support team” to the nation, India.
After all, if the “outsourced” employees are getting paid a pittance, the CEO and his top associates can rake in all the more.
Of course, the above scenario is totally outlandish–and is meant to be.
Who would expect the wealthy CEO of a major American corporation to actually wait in a telephone queue like an ordinary American Joe or Jane?
That would be like expecting the chief of any major police department to put up with hookers or panhandlers on his own doorstep.
For the wealthy and the powerful, there are always underlings ready and willing to ensure that their masters do not suffer the same indignities as ordinary mortals.
Such as the ones who sign up for Comcast TV, cable or Internet services.
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“DON’T CALL US–JUST SEND US YOUR MONEY”
In Bureaucracy, Business, History, Social commentary on January 31, 2023 at 12:10 amIt’s hardly a national security secret: Corporations don’t want to talk to their customers.
Their love is reserved exclusively for their customers’ wallets.
Don’t believe it?
In mid-January I called Verizon Communications to report a disgraceful experience at one of its stores. Fifteen minutes later, with no one deigning to pick up the phone, I hung up.
I decided that Verizon’s CEO, Hans Vestberg, should know how irresponsibly his company was operating. So I sought an email address for him on Verizon’s website.
Naturally, the website refused to provide such an address.
Fortunately, its corporate headquarters address was available.
Hans Vestberg
Pombo Photography, CC BY 4.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons
So that’s where I sent my letter. Its contents:
On January 13, I had a thoroughly despicable experience while visiting your store at [EXCISED].
I currently have an Alcotel flip-phone provided by your company and wanted to upgrade this to a better-quality one. Through Verizon’s Instant Messaging service on Twitter, one of your customer service reps had recommended the Kyocera DuraXV Estreme Prepaid phone.
But when I entered your store one of your representatives told me:
The rep said one of these was available. But when I asked to see it, he held up a box with a picture of the phone on it and said he couldn’t open the box until I bought it.
I told him I wouldn’t pay for something I couldn’t even see before I bought it. When I’m thinking of buying a book I want to see how well-written it is before I make a purchase.
I said: “If I just wanted to look at a photo I could have done this on my computer.”
He said that I might be able to see one at Best Buy because the Verizon store I was visiting doesn’t have a display model of the kind of phone I wanted. But they had plenty of iPhones—which of course cost far more—on display.
The rep then tried to pressure me into buying an iPhone, saying it would be cheaper than the one I was interested in.
I told him I wanted a simple phone, without a lot of needless bells and whistles. In addition, the size of a flip phone better fits my hand than does an iPhone.
Verizon’s headquarters in New York City
Eden, Janine and Jim from New York City, CC BY 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons
He told me that the phone I wanted could be bought for about $7 a month, which would stretch to about 36 months. I asked him if I could pay it off in larger sums, so I could get the purchase out of the way more quickly.
He said no, and to my surprise explained why: It was Verizon’s way to ensure the customer stayed with the company for at least that length of time.
In short: Verizon doesn’t count on its superior technology and service to retain consumer loyalty.
The rep said I should have phoned the office before coming in, so someone could tell me they didn’t have on display any phones I wanted to see.
I replied that in the past I had phoned that office—and found they didn’t deign to answer their phones.
Again to my surprise, he admitted that that was actually the store’s policy.
To which I replied: “So you sell phones—but you don’t deign to answer your own phones.”
Needless to say, I left without buying anything.
On January 25, I got a call from a secretary at Verizon.
She wanted to let me know that CEO Vestberg had gotten my letter.
First, she apologized for the difficulties I had encountered.
Then she sympathized with my desire to see an expensive cell phone before I actually bought it. She said that her mother felt exactly the same way when she wanted to buy something.
But when I asked her what Verizon intended to do to correct these outrages, she offered nothing.
Clearly she expected me to be fully satisfied with a pro-forma apology—and nothing else.
I explained that an apology is an admission of failure—and without an effort to correct that failure, the “apology” means nothing.
The secretary simply offered her original apology on behalf of Verizon.
“Thank you for calling,” I said, and hung up.
That same week, a friend of mine named Dave had a similar disappointing encounter with Comcast. He wanted to file a change of address with the company.
And, like me, he found it impossible to reach anyone by phone.
So he got onto Comcast’s website on Twitter—and left a message: “Why is it so hard to get someone at your stores to answer the phone? Have you considered hiring a few operators?”
About five minutes later, Dave got a call—from Comcast.
Apparently the company monitors Twitter 24/7, but doesn’t feel the need to hire enough operators to man its phone banks.
So Dave finally got to make his change-of-address.
Moral: If you can embarrass a company on Twitter, Yelp! or other social media website, chances are it will treat you with the respect it should have shown in the first place.
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